Master the How: An Invitation for More Evolved Discussions and Connections

Master the How: An Invitation for More Evolved Discussions and Connections

A gift of social media is that it is exposing how we relate with each other and how we behave with each other. The raw human exchange between the senator and the group is an invitation to reflect on our own behavior and to master the How of relating through the use of consciousness practices.

It takes skill to relate and to navigate the human condition while we’re relating – especially when we disagree. We have much to learn.

Drop the Baggage of that Heavy Word – “Purpose”

I see, hear, and read so much about “being in your purpose,” and inevitably, this topic arises in my workshops and during coaching sessions. This is another way we suffer in a stream of thoughts.

Thoughts such as “What is my purpose?” or “I have to live out my purpose!” or “I’m not in my purpose!” invite self-doubt and diminished self-esteem, leading to suffering. It’s important to distinguish between your purpose and your role.

Understanding Your Role

It’s time to relax and drop the heavy baggage about your purpose.

We play various roles in our lives: executive, doctor, parent, child, friend, engineer, volunteer, etc. When we let go of the overloaded term purpose, we are equipped to have a more intelligent conversation about our role on this planet, how we want to contribute, and how we want to spend our time.

OUR PURPOSE IS TO WAKE UP AND LOVE EACH OTHER – AND AS A HUMAN SPECIES, WE ARE BEING INVITED TO EVOLVE.

With this context, smarter questions can be asked, such as:

  • What roles do I currently hold?

  • What new roles do I want to take on?

  • How do I want to contribute to society for the good of all?

Your Roles Will Change, Evolve, and Grow

Roles are changing, and they are forever vulnerable as we continue to evolve and grow in society:

  • Gender roles are changing. No longer is the “man of the house” expected to be the main breadwinner, and no longer is it expected that women will stay at home. Similarly, men can tune in to what they most want rather than be forced by society to provide for a family.

  • Trucking industry roles are changing as self-driving trucks have been invented. Individuals now must learn computer skills to drive trucks remotely when they exit the highway.

  • Advertising roles are being affected as the way the world uses ads is being reinvented. Social media is evolving exponentially as a means of marketing and advertising.

  • Stock traders are being replaced by technology engineers so computers can more accurately perform calculations that previously took people countless hours.

  • Artificial intelligence is in its infancy, so we cannot predict its impact, but we can surmise it will have a significant effect on the roles we play in the world.

  • The role of parent changes over a lifetime. At first, offspring are dependent upon their parents, but as children grow up, the dynamic of parent-to-child must change to adult-to-adult in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

Don’t oversimplify or diminish the importance of choosing roles. They are necessary, and they are how we function in societies: employment roles are how we earn money and provide for ourselves and others; the roles of mother, father, mentor, elected official, etc. are how we collaborate in the world and communicate.

It is when we identify our purpose with a role that comes and goes that we find ourselves dissatisfied, and we suffer.

The same applies to your company or organization – the purpose is still to wake up and love each other. You can ask the same role-related questions of your company—

  • What role do we want to play?

  • How do we want to contribute for the good of all?

  • Is our current role becoming outdated?

Defining and Understanding Purpose

Finally, if we take a look at the websters.com definitions for purpose, we find:

noun = the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

verb = to set as an aim, intention, or goal for oneself

Now, let’s apply this…

Two of the many roles I play are Conscious Leader Facilitator and Volunteer For A Nonprofit. These roles change based on circumstances and context; therefore, I am “wearing different hats.”

But my purpose – to wake up and love each other – never changes, and I can stay true to it no matter which role I am playing. I eliminated my former role as Wall Street Executive years ago, but it wasn’t an existential crisis, as my purpose never changed.

As soon as I review role versus purpose with my clients, with participants in my workshops, and with my friends, it’s as if a light goes off within them, and they immediately relax. When we start to entangle our roles with our purpose, we provide fodder for the mind to complicate matters on something that is quite simple.

Let go of this baggage!!!

Listen to my teacher, Gangaji, talk about purpose here: https://gangaji.org/radio/view/?id=105

Read more about roles versus purpose in Chapter 28 of my book, Evolution Revolution.


My book Evolution Revolution: Conscious Leadership for an Information Age is your handbook on awareness and consciousness. Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 28, Wake Up to Our True Nature – The Truth of Who We Are:

“Inevitably, what we are all seeking is peace, freedom, and love. The significant betrayal is we tell ourselves we must do something to be peaceful, to be free, to receive love. The truth of who we are is peace, freedom, and love. Our true nature is pure being-ness and consciousness.

Experiences, thoughts, friends, relationships, jobs, our bodies, the weather, all come and go as phenomena. We are that which does not come and go, that which is always here—pure awareness and consciousness. At any time, we can directly open to what’s always here. When we identify with what comes and goes, we suffer.” ~Abigail Stason, Evolution Revolution.

Oh – So THAT’S Why They Do That!!

Oh – So THAT’S Why They Do That!!

I am continually amazed at how – and how much – the misunderstanding of individual style differences derails projects, relationships, teams, and communication between people. It’s as if the list is endless.

This conflict happens at ALL levels and in ALL contexts – from the C-Suite to individual contributors, to volunteers, to intimate relationships. It’s time to use the gas pedal and brake pedal of conditioning consciously.

Consciously Taming Our Inner & Organizational Control Freak

Consciously Taming Our Inner & Organizational Control Freak

We really can’t control very much. This is becoming more intense with advances in technology. Every industry is affected, and with so much change, it can feel like we are spinning out of control. Our mind wants to be in control, to predict, and to know what’s going to happen. 

In order to thrive and to be an effective leader, we have to understand our relationship to control. Here’s why…

A Lesson From Holocaust Survivor Victor Frankl That Applies Today

A Lesson From Holocaust Survivor Victor Frankl That Applies Today

Every year, I make it a priority to read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. For me, it’s a superb reminder to be grateful for my life. I live a privileged life, and even so, it’s easy to drop into the well of suffering by complaining about “first world problems.” Another reason I read it each year is to never forget what human beings are capable of when in their individual and/or collective fear state: Us vs Them.

Fear 2.0 = Stop Surviving, Start Evolving

Fear 2.0 = Stop Surviving, Start Evolving

To come closer and more directly to the truth of who we are, the invitation is to realize that emotions are just waves of energy that support the nervous system to survive. The basis of each emotion is fear, and when we realize this, we are free to let emotional energy flow as a simple life force energy. Read on to learn how each of our emotions relates to our survival.

The Other F-word at Work: Fear

The Other F-word at Work: Fear

Fear is good when it is related to consciously. Fear’s main function is to act as an alarm to danger, threat, or motivational conflict, which then initiates unconscious natural adaptive responses that are a part of human evolution. Fear responses have evolved to protect us. These responses are very useful and necessary. Read on to learn about our five conditioned fear responses, the physiology of fear, how to evolve past survival mode, and more.

The Conscious Entrepreneur

The Conscious Entrepreneur

Being an entrepreneur also poses many challenges and demands on my time and energy. We all know the challenges, such as choosing the best idea for the market, financing the business, finding customers, the ups and downs of not having a steady paycheck, taking care of our well-being, and dealing with loneliness and self-doubt. The list goes on and on.

A question I hear from other entrepreneurs is “How do I balance everything on my plate?” They want to know how to make an impact without burning themselves out. My answer is: BE A CONSCIOUS ENTREPRENEUR.

The Impact of Leadership Presence: A Case Study

The Impact of Leadership Presence: A Case Study

The most powerful skill you can cultivate in leadership is presence. Presence empowers you with the agility that is needed in this information age. There is no formula for interactions with others, but by facilitating presence in yourself and others, you are able to meet what’s here – and to respond with ability versus react to situations.

Focus on What You CAN Control – Yourself

Focus on What You CAN Control – Yourself

I see a continued phenomenon where people place their attention outside of their own experience and direct it to what others are doing or saying, or how they are acting while working. There is a strong pull to try to change others so they will behave or act differently. The classic question is: “How do I get him/her/them to be more conscious?” The simple answer is…

"Leader As Coach" Is Dead - What's the Alternative?

"Leader As Coach" Is Dead - What's the Alternative?

Over the years, we’ve all heard the phrase “leader as coach.” There have been many programs created around this concept, where companies have pulled people away for a couple of days and taught them coaching skills. When they return to their day-to-day activities, these new coaching skills fall by the wayside. Is the Leader As Coach model dead? Maybe not yet, but it’s dying.

The F-word at Work: Feelings

The F-word at Work: Feelings

The missing piece in emotional well-being is the emotions – actually feeling our feelings and tapping into the wisdom of our emotions. Denying our emotions – blocking our emotional energy – leads to a contractive state in our bodies. We actually cause more stress to our system by denying our emotions than if we let them flow.

No Is The New Yes

No Is The New Yes

Our plates are full. In fact, they are so overloaded that we could work 24 hours, 7 days a week and still our plate would be overflowing. In an earlier article, I talked about becoming victim to your calendar, and we told you simply: JUST SAY NO! But it’s not so easy, yes?

Read on for my top two resources on saying No, and join me in starting a new trend where No is as welcome as Yes.

5 Keys to the Human Factor of Mergers, Acquisitions & Reorgs

5 Keys to the Human Factor of Mergers, Acquisitions & Reorgs

We’ve seen it far too often: Articles and white papers citing common mistakes that negatively affect mergers & acquisition (M&A) transactions, and the most important factor is ignored – the human factor.

There is nothing more important to your organization than the human beings who make up the very fabric of your culture. Read on for 5 tips to guide you while navigating the human factor of organizational change.